Friends.
The title for this blog is a Lois Grey song, Sanfrancisco. Though sadly not together anymore, they are still amazing and something to check out. A sweet little local band I very much enjoy. Just thought I'd give them shout out.
Anyway, I haven't gotten back to my blog about promises, but it's my busy, busy life. I currently have to finish three things for different people, work on a few half finished projects of my own, some projects nearly finished, touch up a few of my songs, prepare for Florida, etc.
My life is a bit full right now.
Late this afternoon, I realized with a start that today marks the halfway point to my next birthday. My half birthday, which I used to celebrate on. Realizing this, though somewhat joyful, brought a quiet soberness over me. I got hit right in the face with the truth of what I'm becoming. A young adult simply trying to follow the Lord's voice.
I've been coming to term some fears of mine. One of them being the fear of missing it. Missing the Lord's plan for my life, missing all the great things he has for me, heading down the wrong path, making a mistake and not being able to find my way back. As I get older each and every day, I've just had this gnawing feeling that I don't know WHERE I'm going or WHAT I'm doing. I feel unprepared. But luckily, there is a cure for that. Preparation. And the only way to do that now is prayer.
I love music. It's what I want to do with my life, as I've said before. I'm not quite sure what that's going to look like yet, how it's gonna take shape, but it's definitely something I need to be involved in. And Satan keeps trying to whisper that I'm wasting my time, it's a waste, it'll go nowhere.
I just know that God put my love of music in my heart for a reason. And he has told me for now, "Keep playing music, and going deeper. Focus on music and me, you'll be alright." So that's what I've been doing.
It's hard not to let panic set in. "Oh my gosh, Summer is here, I'm turning 17 this year, I don't know what I'm doing, where I'm supposed to be....God, HELP ME!"
And to be sure I've said something along those lines many times. But I'm forcing myself to realize that God isn't going to leave me without a plan, and he's not going to let me miss it. He loves me. Sometimes we've got to just trust that things will happen in the Lord's timing, that we won't be walking in circles forever. Even if that's how I feel right now, I'm sure I'm actually moving forward way more than I know.
"It is in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for"
-Ephesian 1:11
So ok, Papa. I'm trusting you not to let me walk out unprepared. Bring on the fire. I want whatever you have for me.
And those half finished projects I mentioned above? The Lord has told me to revive them, so I will. I think God has a great sense of humor. Bringing up half finished projects on my half birthday. What a guy. He's my best friend.
Love.
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