Thinking with my heart

“You think with your heart. Do you know how beautiful that is?”
“No.”
“One day you will.”

I think with my heart and not my mind. It leaves me vulnerable and wide open, my primary tendency being to make decisions based on emotion. As an artist I practically breathe emotion, passion, and anything meaningful and deep to me. I am not a scientist, thinking in logic, formulas, and what makes sense. There is a true and real beauty in that, but it’s not what I lean towards.

Logic invalidated who I was time and time again. I was my heart. My heart didn’t make sense. It was worthless. I remember being told my opinion meant nothing because it was not based on logic, but emotion. I believe that more often than not, emotion means something. It’s the part of the heart that’s oh so important, yet doesn’t make sense. It can’t be explained to you, it can’t be understood. But it’s there, and it’s there for a reason. It’s a beautiful mystery.

Not that emotion can’t be irrational and downright unjustified, but often, if you look beneath the surface, you find reason in emotion itself. If there is one thing that thinking with my heart gives me, it’s compassion. If I see anyone in pain I hurt for them. As important as justice is to me, I long for mercy even for the bad guys in the stories I read, that they would be redeemed and go on to touch people in love and graciousness. Redemption is such an important word to me. I was redeemed myself. Why not share with others the very gift that sets me free? The only thing that sets me apart from those who don’t know God is grace.

It was grace, grace, grace that God decided to give to me. God revealed himself to me in his word and his unrelenting love. And who am I to receive that love and that gift when I deserve nothing of it? I am no better than my brother or sister beside me. So how could I not share the love and grace shown to me? My heart will not let me walk away from one in need of the very thing that saved my soul.

A good friend and I once had a conversation.

“You think with your heart. Do you know how beautiful that is?”

“No.”

“One day you will.”

I think I’m beginning to see it.